Dear Journal,
I just got back from Arkansas, and I LOVED it!!! The woods is soothing to me after a summer full of stress. I went fishing with my grandpa and my dad. The boat was kinda small, so it scared me half to death when it shook. I thought I was goona fall off the boat and get eaten by a gator(there were gators in the water, but they weren't big) but we didn't tip over. I actually caught a catfish but it wasn't a keeper. My grandpa made me sit in the chair at the front of the boat, which scared me cuz when he turns on the motor the front lifts and I go with it. He loves scaring me. Anyways, I look on facebook for interesting things and I see a picture of Jeffrey with red hair. I click on his name and it brings me to his profile. I scroll down to find something worth reading. I find a conversation between him and Avery. I read some more, and it seems as though he's flirting with her. When I see that he's talking to other pretty girls, I get jealous, even though he's not mine. I see him talking to Avery and my face gets red, I start feeling angry, I exit the page before I punch the screen out. I don't like when I'm jealous. And I very rarely am. Its just I see him flirting with other girls and other girls flirting with him(by telling him he's cute and ect.), I just loose it cuz I love him that much. There's always problems waiting around the corner for me. I almost commited suicide because of Jeffrey. Only because we went out four days(which didn't seem like enough to me) and he was the only person that I went out with that I actually LOVED. And now I want to talk to him so badly but I don't know exactly what to say. Besides, even if I say something to him, he won't reply. That makes me keep sending him messages to get his attention, which of course will make him think I'm clingy or annoying. Which I'm not. I'm just fun(: I hope I get that problem fixed... I haven't talked to him since we kissed. And the kiss is what made fall for him all over again. I shouldn't have kissed him. It was a mistake. But you know I enjoyed it 100%. So I hope he gets a chance to read this. I need him to understand me. He's the other half of my heart at the moment. He needs to know that.
-Emmi<3
P.S. I love Jeffrey. <3
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